Babysitting Blues
by JenLea
Summary: SLASH When Trish and Randy go out of town, they leaves Carlito and Masters to watch with their children, who like to torment baby sitters.
1. Chapter 1

Babysitting Blues

_Meet the Kids_

Disclaimer: I own no one!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You said you wanted to be around kids, before meeting with the lawyer!" Chris Mordetsky exclaimed, laughing. Carlos Colon glared at his best friend.

"I said I wanted to be around kids. I didn't say I wanted to be around Demon Seed! These kids have scared away every sitter they've ever had. Adam's hair is still lopsided from when Amy forced him to baby sit. Do you really want me bald?" Carlos asked, wringing his hands. "Picture me bald." Chris shivered.

"They'll be gone two, three days tops. We'll be fine," Chris murmured, squeezing Carlos' hand. Carlos rolled his eyes.

"That's what you think, you Big Goof," Carlos muttered. Suddenly, the Victorian manor came into view. "Think they need a house that big to house so many kids?"

"They've only got five kids, with two on the way," Chris muttered. "What do you mean I'm a big goof?" Carlos closed his eyes. This was definitely going to be the weekend from hell.

"I meant it lovingly! We're watching a 9 year old, a 6 year old, a 3year old, an 18 month old and a 10 month old." Carlos murmured. Chris nodded.

"Hey!" Trish exclaimed, walking over to them. She held a small child. "We've been waiting for you," Glancing her over, Carlos couldn't help but notice she was barefoot and pregnant. "Take her, would you?" Carlos found a child thrust into his arms.

"Who is this?" he called, watching her vanish into the house. "Chris, who is this?" Chris shrugged, pulling luggage out of the range rover.

"Hell if I know!" Chris exclaimed. "The only friend of ours whose kids I can identify are Melina and Johnny, and that's only because they've got fake fur coats," Carlos groaned.

"That's Georgiana. I'm Bianca, and I'm 6. My oldest brother is Michael. My middle sister is Caitlin. The little baby is Nicola," a young girl in a denim dress said. Carlos noticed her straggly brown hair and her missing tooth. "Who are you?"

"I'm Carlos. That's Chris. We're your baby sitters," Carlos murmured, shaking her hand. Randy took his daughter away from Carlos.

"Sorry. It's chaotic. Trish is upset at leaving Nicola," he murmured. "Georgiana, are you going to be good while Mommy and Daddy are gone?" The child nodded. "Come on, Guys. Let's meet the troops,"

"Guys, baby sitters' line!" Randy called. Bianca ran forward. Randy set Georgiana down by a small girl. "Meet Michael," A tall boy with dark spiky hair stepped forward. "He's the one to ask if you have any questions," Michael stepped back. "Meet Bianca." Bianca stepped forward. "She's the little mother," Bianca stepped back. "Meet Caitlin," A little girl in a yellow dress stepped forward. "She's being potty trained," Caitlin stepped back. "Meet Georgiana," Caitlin gently shoved Georgiana forward. "She's independent," Caitlin pulled Georgiana back. "Meet Nicola," Trish placed a chubby baby in Carlos' arms. "She's the baby of the group until Allegra and Christopher come,"

Carlos glanced down at the baby. She glanced up, and immediately began to wail. "Hello, Nicola," Glancing over, he handed the baby to Chris.

"She'll be fine as soon as we leave," Randy said. "Come in for the grand tour," Carlos followed him; sensing Chris sending him death glares. "Here's the kitchen. The pantry's fully stocked." Carlos nodded.

"How much food is it going to take to feed this army?" Chris asked. Carlos shrugged. Randy sighed.

"Parlor, the kids aren't allowed in here," Randy said, nodding toward a shut door. "Living room is right here. TV's got a V-Chip. I'll give you the password later," Carlos nodded.

"Bedrooms are upstairs. Bathrooms, I guess that's it." Immediately, children swarmed him. "TV Password's my b-day

and year,"

"Bye!" they called. "We'll be good," Carlos anxiously eyed Chris. Whenever children promised to be good, that was never good.

"Ever changed a diaper?" Carlos asked. Chris shook his head. "You might want to learn."

"What about you?" Chris asked. Carlos shook his head. "We're going to have fun, because I'm all wet," He nodded toward Nicola.

"Kids, come inside!" Carlos called, not wanting to lose the kids on his first day as babysitter. "We've got to try and figure out how to diaper your sister," Quickly counting heads, Chris ushered the kids in.

"Mom and Dad left us with idiots!" Michael declared. Chris glanced over to Carlos. Carlos shook his head and muttered something.

"Don't call us idiots," Chris scolded. Glancing to Carlos, he sighed. "Didn't Paul and Kurt only survive an hour?" Carlos nodded.

When their friends found out they were watching "The Orton Five", as the kids were called, everyone started telling them horror stories. Adam had fallen asleep, and had left four inches of hair on his left side. Kurt had been doused with Tapioca pudding and was now unable to stand rice. Paul had survived, only to end up with a broken nose, courtesy of Bianca, who had kicked him.

"They survived a day, but Kurt can't stand to look at rice," Carlos muttered. He turned suddenly, feeling Michael touch the back of his head. "What did you do?"

"Nothing," he muttered. Carlos faced Chris. "Bye!" He ran upstairs.

"What did he do?" Carlos asked. Bianca called to him. Watching his boyfriend turn around, Chris' eyes widened.

"Give me your hand," Chris said. Carlos extended his hand. Chris gently placed his hand on the back of his head. "A huge wad of chewing gum," Carlos muttered something in Spanish, which Chris assumed was unrepeatable in front of the children.

"How are we going to get it out?" Carlos asked. Chris shrugged.

"We'll figure it out as soon as we get Nic changed, and I get a clean shirt. I can't walk around smelling like Baby piss all day," he said.

"We don't know how to change a diaper!" Carlos exclaimed. Chris sighed.

"If we're going to have kids, we'll have to learn and now is a good a time as ever." He said. He faced Bianca. "Bi, where does Mommy keep Nic's diapers?"

"In here," Bianca said. "Mommy and Daddy told me to only let people call me Bianca," She handed Carlos a diaper and a box of wipes.

"Mommy and Daddy aren't home," Carlos said. Bianca sighed. "Come on, Toph, let's figure this out," Chris sighed.

"Whatever you say, Carly," Chris said. "Then, we'll figure out how to get the gum of your hair," Carlos nodded. "Bi, can you get me the duct tape, please?" Bianca nodded.

"Duct tape?" Carlos questioned. Chris nodded. "What are you going to do with duct tape?" Chris chuckled. "Tape the diaper on?"

"Precisely," he said. "We'll need scissors to get her loose but it's a small price to pay for our sanity," Placing Nicola on a towel, he removed the dirty diaper. Wiping her the best he could, he placed the clean diaper underneath her bottom. When Bianca handed him the roll of tape, Chris carefully taped the baby into the diaper, making sure not to get tape on her skin.

"What are we going to do with Georgie?" Carlos asked, warily eyeing the toddler. "I don't think tape is going to help,"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it,"  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Should I continue? I'm a little uncertain!


	2. You Big Goof

Babysitting Blues

_You Big Goof_

Disclaimer: I own no one!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

With Nicola successfully changed, Chris could now figure out to get the gum out of Carlos' hair. It wouldn't look very good, but his boyfriend would have to deal with it.

"Hold this," Chris shoved a bag of ice into Carlos' hand. "Hold this to the back of your head," He could hear Michael fighting with Bianca.

"Why?" Carlos called.

"Michael, drop your sister's doll!" Chris called, wondering how he could get the gum out of Carlos' hair while dealing with the kids. "Bi, come sit with me."

"What is the ice for?" Carlos asked. Chris sighed.

"It freezes the gum, making it hard." Chris explained. "You've got a lot of hair," Carlos rolled his eyes at his boyfriend's horribly obvious statement. "Where's the peanut butter?"

"Peanut Butter?" Carlito sounded horrified. Chris nodded. How could he explain what the peanut butter was for? "What are you going to do? Make a sandwich on my head?"

"The oil eats through the gum," Chris explained. "You'll have to shower afterwards, but you needed to shower anyone," Bianca handed him the peanut butter.

"What do you mean?" Carlos asked. Had Chris just insulted him?

"You didn't shower before we left the hotel room," Chris muttered, smearing peanut butter in his hair. "Give this five minutes. I'll be right back,"

Sitting silently, Carlos couldn't help but feel as if more goo was being added to his head. Why did he feel like that? What was going on?

Maybe it was just the peanut butter working.

Chris showed up close to an hour later. Carlos was never gladder to see him. That is until he saw the strange look on his face.

"Oh no!" Chris exclaimed. He ran his hand over Carlos' head. "Jelly!" Carlos jumped up. Jelly? Was Chris crazy? "There's dried jelly in your hair!"

"What do you mean?" Carlos muttered, unable to figure it out. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bianca, looking at the ground.

"I thought the peanut butter would be lonely!" she exclaimed. Slowly bringing his hand into contact with his head, he stifled a gasp.

His hair was matted with grape jelly.

"It's dry. It's sticky. We're going to have to go to town. You're going to need to shave your head"

"Shave my head?" Carlos was horrified. "Are you crazy, You Big Goof?"

"You're not going to have much choice. Why don't you go and I'll stay with the kids?"

Carlos was mortified. Why did he have to shave his head? What would people say? Would he lose his job? After all, his hair was his trademark.

"All done!" The barber exclaimed, turning the chair. Carlos faced the mirror. Horrified, he ran his hand against soft skin. "Next time, be careful."

Carlos was shocked. He was bald! What could he do? Chris was going to laugh! That would have been one shot Carlos' pride would be unable to handle.

Driving through town, Carlos was furious. His cell phone chirped. He thought it was Chris, calling to see how his haircut was, but he didn't feel like answering.

Pulling up to the house, he was mortified to see a dark red pick up truck. He knew that truck. It belonged to Paul and Kurt, their good friends who had been terrorized by the kids. Why did he have to face them now?

"Carly, you can come out now," Chris murmured, kneeling by the door. "It's just Paul and Kurt. You probably don't look that bad," Carlos stepped out of the car. Removing his hat, he glanced up at Chris. Struggling not to snicker, his eyes began to water.

"You laugh, I got a headache for the next month and a half," Carlos growled. Chris looked at him innocently.  
"You wouldn't last a day!"

"Ask me the longest I've gone,"

"What? A day?"

"SIX months,"

"No way!"

"Way,"

"Not possible,"

"It was Booker! He wanted to make that horse of a wife jealous."

"By dating you?"

Carlos wasn't in the mood for Chris' games. He loved him dearly, but the other man just annoyed him. What was he supposed to do?

Then, Chris laughed.

"Consider yourself cut off Mister! In fact, you're sleeping on the couch tonight!"

Carlos ran inside, beyond furious. Tears may have been burning his eyes. He didn't know. He's didn't care. He was embarrassed. He was angry.

Most of all, he was hurt.

He and Chris were usually empathic when it came to each other. There had been times when across a crowded room, Carlos had sensed Chris' annoyance, and had pulled him away from Candice's rather graphic talks about her sex life. On more than one occasion, he had pulled Chris away from Cena's advances.

"I'm sorry I laughed," His deep voice pierced through Carlos' thoughts. "Don't be mad."

"Why not?"

"Because I love you!" Chris exclaimed. "I'm sorry I laughed at you. I love you more than you'll ever know." He sat beside Carlos and took his hand. "You don't look half bad,"

"I look like a Puerto Rican Austin!" he exclaimed. "You Big Goof, you're still sleeping on the couch,"

"Fine,"

"Aww, how sweet!" Carlos glanced up. Standing above them was Kurt Angle, holding Nicola.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


End file.
